Compares the Number of Visits to Two New Music Sites on The Web.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.

The graph shows people using new music places on the Internet in fifteen days namely personal choice and trendy pop music.

The overall trend shows fluctuation with a slight increase towards the end of the period.

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Starting with the Music Choice website; 40,000 people went on this new site on the first day. Half of them backed out the next day. In Contrast to this Pop Parade net sites were visited by 120,000 music lovers on day one which decreased slightly on the next day thereafter regaining the same fame on 3rd day.

After the 3rd day, the enthusiasm for both music lines on the Internet dropped slowly- reaching a maximum fall of 40,000 on the 7th day. Whereas Music Choice gained popularity, slightly Improving to get the original strength of 30,000 viewers on screen, but was getting still fewer visiters than their opponent Pop group i.e. 40,000 on day 7.

At the beginning of the next week, both gained remarkable recovery after a few fluctuations for the 8th and 9th day having 40,000 and 50,000 visitors respectively, reaching their peaks of one and a half thousand new viewers for Pop Parade on the 11th day showing a contrast of very few people visiting Music choice for the same day. Thereafter Music Choice gained popularity on the 12th day for having more than 120,000 new visitors on the web.

At the end of the period, Pop sites were visited by a maximum viewers of 180,000 whereas sites located to Music Choice were not explored by more than 80,000 explorers on the last day of the report.

(257 words)

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner’s comment:

Well organized with some good linking devices and collocations (gain popularity, remarkable recovery, decrease slightly) and some valid comparison of the music sites. However, some sentences are long and confusing (paragraph 5), some collocations are inaccurate (slight increased, reaching to their peaks) and there is some repetition (7th day, 3rd day, 11 th day). Some words are spelt incorrectly (poeple, Improoving, visiters, biegining).

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